Having little ones, there are so many things to take into consideration when it comes to how we raise them. We worry about how much time they spend on their iPads, what bad words they’re learning at school, or how well they’re going to on their test on Friday. We worry about their safety and health and whether they’re getting along with their friends. Then when they do well on that test or play well in their soccer game, we reward them. Sound familiar?
A few weeks ago, I attended Charlotte Parent’s most recent installment in the Mom Matters series on building your child’s self-esteem and I’m so glad I did. Having a seven year old, I already see his feelings getting hurt and the way he thinks of himself being altered based on the things I do and say to him. Jen Bland, the Founder & Executive Director of Playing for Others talked about her IMPACT theory and how we need to really connect with our children in order to build their character.
I – Inside Work M – Modeling P – Play A – Awareness C – Communication T – Thinking
Katie Overcash, who has experience in facilitating self-esteem groups and camps for adolescents concentrated on really communication your children and broke up how to do that in different stages. I appreciated how she really gave us moms the tools to be able to know the best way to communicate with our kids as they grow. Having a baby, four year old, and seven year old in the house has been a major challenge for me in the communicating department and I feel like oftentimes, my oldest gets the shaft, because I think he’s more mature and doesn’t need me. But, boy is that so wrong. He actually probably needs me the most at his age of self awareness and while he’s really discovering himself and starting to feel real feelings.
Communicating with our kids is so important. We need to be involved parents and not sucked into our phones, laptops, or anything else. This is the most efficient and best way to really instill good values and good self-esteem in our kids. I remember reading a blog post recently about a mom who did an experiment. She was watching her daughter play and instead of staring at her phone the entire time, she watched and her and counted how many times her daughter looked up to see if she was watching her. She was amazed at how many times she did. Our children are watching us. They are looking to us for guidance, reassurance, and a smile. We need to give them those smiles, the reassurance, and the guidance. They deserve that from us. It’s important for us to :
– create a warm environment
– for us to model healthy conflict resolutions
– make time and be available .. this is a BIG one for me. If my son comes home from school and wants to talk, I need to be ready and willing to drop everything I am doing and be 100% present for him in every moment.
This are just a few of the tips I found valuable from Katie. As a mom, I know sometimes I get sucked into what I’m doing and I need to be more present. I need to be doing the same experiment as the mom I talked about above, what about you??
If you want to hear a takeaway from a mom of five older daughters, head over to read about what My Mommy Brain got from Katie & Jen. I have loved every series from Mom Matters and each time I learn something new. Being a mom is a hard job and there’s always going to be something I can do better, but it’s definitely enlightening to get to take some time and be surrounded by other moms all wanting to help their kids in different ways. The next event will be on June 24th at The Ballantyne Hotel & Lodge and will be talking about “Financial Literacy For You & Your Child” – – tickers are on sale now!
Also, coming up Charlotte Parent has a great opportunity for families to continue the learning and get active together. With summer right around the corner, this is a great way to get active with your kids with the Fit Family Challenge, it is a free, 8-week program May 1-June 26 to encourage parents and kids to get fit and win prizes along the way! For more information, see www.myfitfamilychallenge.com.